I put it up on here because it had my Disney College Program Survivor post on it, as well as a couple others. Check it out :) it's super cute.
Being home has been hard.
They say home is where your heart is,
but I can't quite figure out where my heart is.
Before I left for Florida, I was in an all time low.
I seriously felt the lowest of the low.
I had just broken up with my boyfriend which resulted in losing a friendship I had had for 5 years.
I then made the life-changing decision to apply for the Disney College Program.
I won't pretend to love this program, but I love the experience it gave me.
It was also another big change.
I moved 3000 miles away from my friends and family and a life I had known for 20 years.
I got on that plane and second guessed whether this change was a good one.
Before I left, because of the changes going on in my life,
I pushed away everyone close to me.
I was mean.
I was scared.
I was wrong.
I somehow convinced myself that if I pushed everyone away,
that it would be easier to say goodbye.
I just didn't realize that it would make it harder to say hello again.
Thankfully, my best friend understood,
and even though I apologize almost daily for being such a dork,
she is still here.
I can't say the same for others though.
I ruined friendships.
I let being scared take over my emotions.
I was numb.
I was dumb.
I was wrong.
After saying for so long that I wanted to live my life with no regrets,
I have a regret.
This is my regret.
I let my fear of such a drastic change rule my judgement.
Don' t make my same mistake.
Being back, I have struggled with this new change.
I feel like I don't belong;
that everyone has their own lives that don't include me.
Everything is different, yet oddly the same.
The tiniest details that are sure to make you insane.
I feel like I fell asleep for the entirety of last year
and dreamed the most wonderful dream of my time in Disney.
I then woke up, and worked with different people
Lost friends, as well as gained some all over the world.
It sounds like an odd thing to say,
but a dream is all I can say about how it feels to come back to the same routine.
Change is scary.
Sometimes it's unwanted.
It doesn't care what hardships are going on in your life.
It doesn't guarantee a happy ending.
It is entirely up to you to decide what you're going to do with the change.
It's up to you to decide to accept the change and make your own happily ever after.
Be the change you wish to be in the world.